You Were Right There

Wednesday was drill night, and afterward they grilled outside the firehouse. Nora came to pick Alex up that night and stayed, because the grill was still full and because she liked fire department brats without being able to say why they tasted better there. She stood with a paper plate next to Alex, his friend from the fire department, and the other two guys. Their jackets smelled like smoke and wet hose.

It was about the new girl in the junior firefighters. She was in Nora's grade and had joined over the summer, and tonight she'd helped lay out the hose at drill. “She's only doing it so she can post pictures in uniform,” Alex's friend said, biting into his bun. “First real call, she'll be standing by the truck holding everybody's jackets.” One of the other guys laughed. The guy with the bun glanced over at Alex, the way you glance at someone whose laugh you want.

“She was the only one who got every knot right on the first try,” Nora said. “I was standing at the fence watching. You weren't. You were still on the clove hitch the second time around.” For a moment nobody said anything. “Wow,” he said. “It was a joke, Nora.” And then Alex said, “Any brats left? Who wants the last one?” One of the other guys did, and the conversation moved on, to the weekend weather and a new engine that was supposedly coming.

Nora didn't say much for the rest of the night. She pulled her sleeves down over her hands and finished her brat, because she didn't want it to look like she was leaving in a huff. She wasn't in a huff. She was something she didn't have a word for yet.

In the car she stayed quiet for two intersections. Then she said, “You were right there.” Alex drove slower than he needed to. “I didn't want a fight,” he said. “Not there, not in front of everybody. He doesn't mean it like that. If I go after him in front of the others, he looks stupid, and then next time he does it on purpose.” He put on his turn signal even though the road was empty. “I wanted it to stop. And it did stop.”

“It stopped for you,” Nora said. “I was standing there by myself. And he looked at you before he kept going. He was waiting to see what you'd say. You asked who wanted another brat.” She looked out the window at the dark fields. “Now he knows it's fine. And the new girl wasn't even there. Who's supposed to say something for her if not the people who heard it?”

Alex pulled up at the Sommers' farm gate and turned off the engine. He didn't say anything for a long time. Nora wasn't waiting for him to say something; she was just waiting. Finally he rubbed his thumb over his watch. “Let me take a look,” he said. “It's not a bike, Alex.” “I know.” She got out. She said good night, but she didn't kiss him, and she knew he noticed.

The next Wednesday after drill, Alex was rolling up hoses with his friend. The other two were a few yards away by the truck, close enough to hear everything. Alex had spent the whole week going back and forth about whether to say it one-on-one or in front of everybody. In the end he hadn't picked either. He'd picked now.

“That thing about the new girl last week,” he said, without stopping. “It wasn't funny. And I should have said so right then.” His friend looked up. “Seriously? Did Nora send you?” “No,” Alex said. “I was mad at myself for not saying anything. The new girl did better in training than you and me. If you've got something to say about her, say it to her face. Or drop it.” He said it calmly, the way he said everything. The guy shrugged. “Fine.” It didn't sound fine. But he didn't say anything else, and neither did the other two.

He didn't tell Nora until Friday, on the steps, between two guitar chords, in two sentences. “I said something to him.” “And?” “He didn't love it.” Nora waited for more. There wasn't any, and she understood that it hadn't been for her. Not to make up with her, not so she'd be proud of him. Somehow that made it bigger.

“I still wish you'd said it at the grill,” she said. “In front of everybody, right then.” “I know,” Alex said. “I still think it landed better this way.” “And I still think I was standing there alone.” They looked at each other, and neither of them gave in, and it still wasn't a fight anymore. “Next time I'll say it right away,” Alex said. “You say that now.” “Yeah,” he said. “And then I'll do it.”